I am utterly invisible.

This is fun! No one can find me at all, and I am invisible. It's a good game.

It's too late to be sent to Ireland now, well goodie. I didn't want to go anyway. I LIKE Eastbourne. I think I shall go and play on the beach.

Yah boo sucks. It just serves them all right for taking me out of my nice hard covers and putting me in a paper one.

Batty as ever....

My batty writer was very naughty, and telephoned the distributors today. Oooo er. They were OK, and said they didn't know where I was. The lovely Salt Publishing have sent tlots of me and I have got lost. I have arrived, but no one seems to know where I am. They even sent a second lot cos there were some orders stacking.

I have absconded.

That is all very well, but my batty writer has got a lot of stuff lined up, and if I am not there, she will get all upset.


Well poo. I am hiding.

heard of hide n seek?

MUMMEEEE!

I have gone and got lost! I don't know where I am! help! I am in a big box and it is veeeery dark.
I am in a place called Eastbourne. I know this cos I heard them talking.
"What a dump," they said before driving off and leaving moi in my boxes on a floor somewhere.
Thing is, I am only wearing my paper coat. It is hot at the moment, but if I am not found until the winter, I may die!

(I am in Eastbourne, in a load of boxes, at the distributors. I have been here for ages, and I need the loo. Please will someone put moi on a shelf? I need to be bought, and read, and I need people to tell me I am beautiful again. or I shall cry.....)_

Where's my covers gone???

Well. Huh. They took my nice hard covers off, they did. They put me in a paper cover. Well, I tell you something, it's COLD. I don't like being paper. I need a thicker covering, me. Oh yes.
I know this jumper looks nice and warm, well it isn't its a FASHION item.
Anyway. My batty writer seems to think it's OK putting me in paperback. She is leaping about the place talking about new words on the cover... new reviews or something.
Now look here. You'll see LESS of me of there are more words... so why the joy, I ask?

No consideration for my feelings, that's what.
Huh.

I Went to University..

I dont know what all the fiuss is about. Anyone can go to University.

Yes they can. I did. Look. I went to a University called Oxford. It is not true at all that you have to have exams to go there. I have not even started school yet and I am there, on a table, in something called a Literary Festival.

My batty writer was there, on a panel for another book. Not moi. So I wont mention it but you can go and read it on her other blog. If you must.

But I was there, too. Lots of me, and she signed me lots of times, and seemed pleased. I am on a special table for signed books, right in the middle of a huge tent caklled a marquis. Or a duke. or something. They go to Universities like Oxford, you see.

Mind you, I reckon they must be a bit hard up. Their buildings are so OLD. You'd think they could afford to build something more up to date, wouldnt you?
Look, there I am, sitting up. next to the other book, which I wont mention but its called One World.

My Batty Writer

Is lazy and boring. She says she is working on another book, and I say there IS no other book.

Especially today, when my batty writer has been invited to attend a reading group who are reading MOI (and she doesnt know any of them) and a second invitation, to attend a U3A group. Which is venerable people, she says, and I will be going to a PUB!!!

I am a bit young for that, though. I will have lemonade.

However. She did reasd out of MOI a week or so back, at Waterstones, with the lovely Alison MacLeod, who read out of another book that didnt look like MOI at all.

I GOT BANNED!!!

Well I think I got censored, anyway, which is brilliant news. They'll put me in prison next and I'll yell until the News of the World hears and make a mint.

e-bay did it!. They wouldn't print GLASS (because ASS is naughty... huh?)

so I was Words from a GL*s* Bubble!!! And so no one of the thousands who were looking for me could find me. Isn't that a hoot as my batty writer would say?

I think they might have changed it back now, which is boring.